So Easy To Drive A Seven Year-Old Can

A Palm Beach Gardens, Florida seven year-old borrowed his grandmother's SUV because its "fun to do bad things" and he wanted to do "hood rat stuff" with his friends. The casualties of his joy ride were a few cars and a bunch of mailboxes.

Thankfully for this little angel he was in a Dodge Durango, which must have an excellent safety rating and be very easy to drive. We are sure this isn't the last car that this shorty hotwires.

Stubb & Flask upgrades the Dodge Durango to a must steal.

Beermenus.com Announces IPO

It's been a while since the market has seen a perfect storm like this. The clash of industry wide layoffs on Wall Street and the turning of the weather that calls for outdoor drinking makes it the perfect time for beermenus.com to announce its Initial Public Offering to those in need of an adult beverage.

BeerMenus aggregates bars' beer lineups so that you can search for a particular establishment or for a particular beer to find out where it's on tap (or bottled) and for how much. For those of us who prefer their beer to be a bit more esoteric than Bud Lite or even Stella Artois, this is a godsend.

While Beermenus.com is only offered in New York, nationwide expansion has this little gem set for Google-level returns.

If You Paint It, They Will Come

In one of the more clever get rich quick schemes (or get shit free schemes), a local New York advertising industry dropout is creating paintings of things he wants and then selling them his creations for the retail price of the "want." He wants a new pair of custom Adidas kicks, so he paints a picture of them and sells the canvas for $125.00.

So far he has sold paintings and thus acquired a gold Nixon watch ($287.19), a dual membership to the MoMa ($120.00), Michael Kors aviators ($243.84) and an open bar tab to treat his friend with ($500.00). Above are two wants that have proven two pricey even for collectors of kindergarten art: Financial security valued at $1,000,000 and Mets tickets (2 seven packs) for $597.50.

Stubb & Flask were initially skeptical of this Gordon Gecko style greed that is associated with trying to get everything you want for absolutely free. But this artist has recently launched a sister site to his WantsForSale.com, called NeedsForSale.com -- same concept, but all the paintings here benefit various charities. For this act of decency, Stubb & Flask have added both Websites to the S&F 100.

Apple is the Shit

As I type this blog on my MacBook, upload today's pics from my iPhone and rock out to my house sounds through my iPod while drinking Apple juice, I am pretty much on board with the brand. Next week's wardrobe change only adds to my obsession of a brand as a lifestyle. Apple store employees will be coming out with new t-shirts that are on par with their witty "I'm a mac" commercials.

Not sure which t-shirt I am going to rip off an employee's back, but here's what the genius' are going to wear:

* Specialist: "I can talk about this stuff for hours"
* Concierge: "I know people"
* Creative: "All gain, no pain"
* Genius: "Not all heroes wear capes"
* Manager: "My house is yours"
* Back-of-house: "Some artists use a canvas, I use boxes"

Stubb and Flask continue to buy Apple stock (and everything else they sell)

John Deere Downgraded to a Hold

For the second time this month we have had to change a company's rating because of robots. Does that make anyone else nervous? Today, Stubb & Flask must downgrade John Deere, Inc. to a hold because of expected losses within their residential lawn mower division due to the release of the LawnBott by Kyodo America.

That's right kids, this Knight Ridder looking robot mowes your lawn, while you, and your lazy ass neighbors sit on the porch, drinking beer, laughing at your robot slave. This mower even has Bluetooth technology, so you can program it from any phone or PDA.

The invention of LawnBott has officially rendered the male gender completely useless. What are we good for now, watching TV? But don't be surprised when the LawnBotts unite with the Roomba robotic vacuums and rise up against the human race. Just remember Stubb & Flask and Will Smith warned you about these fucking robots.

Klutz Corp's "Googly Eyes" Added to Watch List

Since 1977 Klutz has been creating children's activity products including books, kits and other kids stuff that stimulate their growth through creativity. Recently, one of the company's marquee products, "Googly Eyes," received a huge endorsement by Christopher Walken during a skit on Saturday Night Live that caused me to make cah-key in my undies I laughed so hard.

Stubb & Flask have added Klutz Corp. and Christopher Walken to it's must watch list.

Flippin Out Over New Video Camera

As technology continues to make our lives somehow both easier and more complicated at the same time, new product innovations continue to provide valuable resources for us to kill time. And the Flip Video is the newest addition to our social media arsenal. The video quality is solid, it records up to 60 minutes of good times, the design is sleek and is becoming a force to be reckoned with in the emerging low-end digital camcorder category.

With the price point and Apple-esque design, Stubb & Flask are in the fan club and recommend a buy.

Hasbro "Transformed" to a Strong Buy

Ever since I was a little bastard I knew there was more than meets the eye and I was friging right!! No one believed me, but Stubb knew it was just a matter of time before Hasbro moved away from toys and started creating real life robot warriors. Check out this brave geek recorded this video at a military training camp, proving, just as we had predicted, that Transformers are fucking real!

Autobots, let's roll out.

Stubb & Flask Upgrades Hasbro to a Buy.

Tapes N' Tapes Downgraded to a Sell

It's not often we see a total market collapse, but in the case of Minneapolis' own Tapes N' Tapes -- they shit the bed!

Both Stubb & Flask recently cut out early from the trading floor to see Tapes Of Crap at the Fillmore in New York City. Expecting great things after hearing their latest release "Walk it Off" and seeing them perform on Conan, we couldn't have allocated our funds in a more disappointing stock.

These two analysts weren't the only spectators at the venue to smell fraud. The band must have invested all their money in expensive shoes rather than in music lessons, as that is all they starred at during their uninspired performance. Even their mild boost of energy during the single "Insistor" was quickly dismissed when fans realized that this act just didn't have the live chops to compete with the talented opening act White Denim, who had early won the crowd over.

We are recommending a Tapes N' Tapes be downgraded to a sell, while we are placing White Denim on our watch list.

Strong Buy on Juergen Teller

Juergen Teller's latest collaboration with Marc Jacobs highlights the raw talent of a photographer who makes people forget about the image as an ad, but more of a piece of art. From his recent shoot with Victoria Beckham to his epic photos with Kate Moss (which Stubb has prominently in his living room), Teller's photographs make you think. Sure, the models are in Marc Jacobs skirts and heels, but you don't even see the product.

As much as Teller is an artist, so is Jacobs for letting his long-time friend have the creative freedom to be himself.

Stubb & Flask upgrades Teller from a Buy to Strong Buy. Investing in his out will provide better returns than the S&P.

Venture Capitalist's Attempt at 'Cool' Falls Short

Retro t-shirts have made an incredible comeback over the last few years. It's hard to pinpoint the source of the revival. Some credit Urban Outfitters, some say it was the 35-40 year-old male midlife crisis that brought the 1985 Kiss Fall Tour t-shirts back to cool. While there are some pretty incredible designers out there and innovative catalysts such as threadless.com and tshirthell.com, two guys out of Boulder, Colorado, have thrown their hats in the ring to literally capitalize on the craze. Matt and Andrew are tenured venture capitalists who have seen it all in the boardroom. And Venture Capitalist Wear reflects on the good, the bad and the ugly of those seeking VC money. While most of their t-shirts aren't too funny, a few stand out including "Your idea made me puke in my mouth a little," and "Fuck it, I'll fund that."

Stubb & Flask recommends a hold on Venture Capitalist Wear (but continue to monitor their progress)

The Handsome Furs Upgraded to a Buy

After seeing The Handsome Furs perform twice in the span on 30 days, this analyst is confident that the duo's success should last well into a sophomore album. Lead singer, Dan Boeckner of Wolf Parade fame, is the band. His wife, Alexei Perry, allows for the Furs to be plural, but merely pushes buttons on a synth machine and dances in orgasmic fashion, all the while taking cues from her better half.

At a recent show in NYC, Alexei interrupted Dan in the middle of a story he was telling to the packed house. The more "handsome" fur shot a look at her that, if audible, would of said "bitch its bad enough I've got to tour the country with my you in tow, but now you are trying to steal my thunder in front of New York Fucking City? Get your ass back over there and hit start on your little iPod and leave the speaking to me."

Despite the strange on stage relationship, The Furs 2007 release, Plague Park, is highly listenable, especially if you love the songs the Dan fronts for Wolf Parade. Live, The Handsome Furs provide an intense rock show filled with sweat, spit, cigarettes and plenty of beer -- just as rock should be. A highlight of both the live show and album is the track "Dead + Rural," which Dan says is a reference to his hometown of Lake Cowichan, British Columbia where he grew up or Victoria where he later lived.

Stubb & Flask upgrades The Handsome Furs to a Buy and upgrades any Wolf Parade side project band; including Sunset Rubdown, Johnny and The Moon and Frog Eyes as well.